The Birthday Of a Friend Who Has Passed

The Birthday Of a Friend Who Has Passed

This last Wednesday was the birthday of a friend of mine.

He was one of many recovering drug addicts and homeless who my wife and I invited into our lives when we very first moved down to Florida to help start a church.

For a time, we had a small group of people that met in our apartment. There were a few consistent people and many who would pass through over time. We would also end up spending Christmas mornings and other holidays with them as so few of them had family who live down here.

This friend is one of the first of many who we got to lead to Jesus and help in their recovery and homelessness.

He was the first of those friends to die.
And last Wednesday would have been his birthday.

We’ve thankfully only had one other close friend die from overdose, but for some reason (I don’t know if it’s time of life or something else) I have experienced more family and friend death in the past 7 years than ever before.

He was one of the first.

And when he died, I made a decision to keep his birthday in my calendar, and I’ve chosen to keep this habit with everyone ever since.

Simply Loving People

His birthday held special memories for me, which led to this new habit.

He, like many of the addicts we met down here, rarely got to celebrate his birthday with close friends or family because of his addiction. As we held a small group at our apartment, we held many birthdays and it never ceased to amaze me how much people appreciated it, addicts and non-addicts alike.

In a world where everyone gets well-wishes on Facebook, the simple text or phone call means so much more. And, to actually sit in a room around simple cupcakes and sing ‘happy birthday’, is almost unheard of.

These small birthday celebrations and times together in our home led to many experiencing God’s love and hope in a way I couldn’t have replicated in any other way.

And God used simple moments like these to save multiple people in our very living room, and I’ll never forget them.

The Importance Of Remembering

Part of the reason I keep people’s birthdays in my calendar, even after they have passed, is it helps me remember them, and more importantly, the things I learned from them.

Specifically: many of the people in my calendar remind me that God is not done. So many of them seemed like “lost causes” yet many of them experienced massive life and heart change by the grace of Jesus, and I never want to forget that.

Whether homeless and drug addicted,
“Old” and “Set in their ways,”
Argumentative and seemingly impossible to reason with…

Many of them found Jesus before their last breath.

And it reminds me of the many birthdays in my calendar who are not long gone, but may one day turn to Jesus as well.

Life Is Short

The 3rd and final reason I keep friends’ birthdays in my calendar, even after they’ve passed, is simply this:

It reminds me that tomorrow is not promised.

One day, you and I will breathe our last and will stand before God and eternity. And as David wrote in Psalms:

“So teach us to number our days
that we may get a heart of wisdom.”

Psalm 90:12

Every month, as I look at the people who used to celebrate birthdays in that month, I am reminded that the things I do today will have an eternal impact, and I don’t know when my story here on earth will end.

And I want my days to count.

You might find my habit weird, but I’m happy I started it. And if nothing else, I hope this reminds you…

To simply love people today,
To keep hope that God can work in even the most desperate situations and people
And to live life to the fullest of God’s calling on your life, because you don’t know when you will meet Him face-to-face.

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